The chaotic life of Gohan!
by Kenohkihi raptor saiyjin
Summary: First fic. Dragonball Z/Ranma 1/2/ possible Yu-Gi-Oh! crossover. Gohan torture. G/V contains Language and some hentai things. Whats This!?!?! CHAPTER 5!!!
1. Prolugue: Saiyjin saved and planet loote...

The chaotic life of Gohan.  
  
Prolugue: A planet destroyed and a life saved A/N: Hi! I am Kenohkihi, the supreme avatar of the raptor saiyjin. Me and my comrads imparticulerly like to torture Gohan, so if you like Gohan, do not continue. Also, it may contain some hentai things, so the rating will be kept at PG-13. Enjoy ^____________^  
  
"speaking" *actions* bond/telethapy /Saiya-go/ (author's notes)  
  
  
  
  
  
Frieza was charging his death ball in his battle with Bardok. /Take this Frieza!!!!!!!!/ Bardok yelled as he threw a large ki blast at the dictator. Frieza let off a laugh as the tiny death ball grew until it was as big as the spaceship behind him.  
  
"AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Bardok screamed in agony as he was badly injured by the death ball. However, a VERY fast blur removed Bardok from the balls clutches. There was, however, a hologram of Bardok being incinerated by the death ball. /HYPERBOLIC FREEZE!!!!/  
  
Time stopped, and the blur turned out to be a Saiyjin (thats how ill spell it) of a muscular build. When he powers up, many scouters blow up due to his immense power. However, he is in tune with the time flow and dares not to defeat Frieza in fear of damaging said flow. /Bardok, are you ok?/ Kenohkihi asked his comrad. /Yes, I am fine. If we are going to loot the planet though, you will have to heal me./ Bardok weakly responded. Kenohkihi merely smiled and in 2 seconds, Bardok was fully healed. /Let's go./  
  
They raced toward the palace where their final companion was stealing all of Vegeta's candy. Kayoko was prince Vegeta's and princess Seikka's caretaker, so he knew exactly where the sweet's were stored. Bardok flew off and raided the labs, and Kenohkihi went and stole everything in King Vegita's (King is Vegita, Prince is Vegeta) secret wine/booze/alchohol basement. In 0 time, they had everything, and they activated their spaceships after unfreezing time.  
  
What is in store for the trio? How can they store all that stuff? Why does Vegeta have a sister? Will I ever update? Find out next time, on Dragonb, errrr... The Chaotic life of Gohan!  
  
  
  
A/N: Hi! Did you like it? Remember, this is just a proluge. By the way, I do not own DBZ or Kayoko. My brother owns Kayoko (the supreme say-jin). This fic is a mix of various idea's from other fics. If you own any of these ideas, please review along with the name of the fic the idea is in. I will publicly thank you on the following chapter. Flames will be used to burn Gohan's underpants. 


	2. Chapter one: Pods land and fllying sand!

The Chaotic Life of Gohan! Chapter one: Pods land and Flying sand  
  
A/N: *Gohan is running in the backround screaming "MY BOXERS ARE ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"* Hi! Me again, and I must say that now the time is a month before Gohan starts high school. Bardok has installed power infusers in the pods so now our power has quintupeled (times 5). Enjoy!  
  
"speaking" *actions* bond/telethapy /Saiya-go/ (author's notes) thoughts  
  
  
  
The Bahamas. A perfect place to vacation. And, unfortanatly for the residents, a good place to crash. A tiny pinprick of light was almost not noticable from the shore. However, as it drew near, it could be shown as three pinpricks of light, becoming larger by the second.  
  
Three large balls crashed into the beach, sending thirty tonnes of sand into the air. Many people were buried as the grains settled, and the three balls were gone, replaced by robots. One in the form of a were-wolf, one in the form of a raptor, and one like an Oozaru (were-monkeys).  
  
The robots then made a hasty retreat, heading toward the land of the rising sun.  
  
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Beep, beep, beep, SLAM, beep, beep, beep.  
  
Gohan grumbled at the alarm clock. Stupid alarm, I thought I turned that off. Gohan stretched his muscles, angry that his dream had been interrupted. He went downstairs after tossing on a gi, inhaling the smell of his mothers cooking. "Morning Mom, what's for breakfast? I'm ravonous!" he said, his usual morning greeting, although the synonym for 'hungry' varied. "The usual Gohan, now go and wash up. You had better be spotless when you get back!"  
  
Gohan sighed as he trooped to the bathroom to do the chore that is washing up. When he got there, he noticed small stubbles of hair on his chin. Well that's a first. I guess I have to start shaving now.  
  
He rummaged through the cabinet until he found Goku's old razor, a bottle of shaving cream, and some aftershave. Little did he know, but this imparticular aftershave is the kind used to pick up chicks. He applied it vigorously, liking the smell.  
  
After returning to the kitchen, ChiChi noticed the pleasent aroma in the air, and also noticed it coming from Gohan. Her memory recovered a mental picture of Goku naked, but she had also noticed Gohans need to shave. Therefore, she had come to the conclusion that Gohan used Goku's 'special' aftershave, not knowing what it was.  
  
ChiChi giggled, and made up her mind to not tell him about the aftershave mix-up, and noted to send him to the city to pick up some things for her. This way, he may meet a nice girl, and it may grow into a romantic relationship, and she may that way get the grandchildren she oh so much desires.  
  
Then another idea got planted in her brain. "Gohan, I was thinking about sending you to high school. You need a social life, and some kids your age." she lectured, hiding her grandchildren motive. "Therefore, you will be sent to Orange Star Highschool."  
  
Gohan spit out his Toaster Strudel(TM) in suprise. (Mmmmmm... Toaster Strudel...) "You can't be serious Mom! They worship that clown Hercule! Me, surrounded by that?!?! No way in hell."  
  
ChiChi glared at her older sons stubborness. Altough he had a point. What was she going to do?  
  
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A/N Sorry I took so long to update, but I've been busy. Will Gohan go to school? When will our favorite trio show up? Where the hell is Goten? Find out next time on Dragonb, err.. The Chaotic Life of Gohan!!! 


	3. When Cheerleaders attack DemiSaiyjins

The Chaotic life of Gohan!! Chapter 2: Gohan gets mobbed and mud gets lobbed!  
  
A/N: Sorry it took so long, but I am, unfortanatly for you, lazy! Hope you like it! Also, lobbed is a synonym for thrown, tossed, ect.  
  
"speaking" *actions* bond/telethapy /Saiya-go/ (author's notes) =======================================  
  
Gohan sighed miserably (spelling?) as his mother tried to get him a uniform for school. His mother loved shopping, and he secretly thinks she also enjoy's torturing him. "Here, try on this one." said his mother, handing him a black vest, white shirt, and orange pants.  
  
*sigh* If anything, these clothes will get me dubbed a nerd of the century. thought Gohan, going into the dressing stall.  
  
"What do you know, a perfect fit! We'll buy these." said ChiChi. "Yes ma'am." replied the clerk.  
  
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/How are we supposed to feed ourselves on this planet? Become slaughterers?/ ask's Bardok skepticly to his powerful comrads.  
  
/Do not worry, with my abilities to warp time, I have created a garden with very exotic plants. There is even plants that grow meat, and beans able to restore you to full health. I don't think such beans exist here./ replys Kenohkihi, smirking.  
  
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"AAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" sneezes Korin, keeper of senzu beans. (in Japan, there is an old folktale that says you sneeze when someones talking about you behind your back.)  
  
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/Yes, I am starving for some meat! Lemme at the sirloin vine!/ goes the eager saiyjin, Kayoko. /Come on! Your with me right Bar?/  
  
/Paitence Kayoko, first we must harvest and cook what we are going to eat./ says Kenohkihi to him with a quelling glance. Then they went off to cook their plentiful harvest.  
  
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ChiChi, Gohan, and Goten walked out of the store, Goten throwing a lollipop stick in the trash. (So that's why he was so quiet......) "Gohan, there's the school. Go and register, while me and Goten buy ice cream cones for us." says, errr.. orders ChiChi.  
  
Gohan merely sighed (He's been doing that alot hasn't he folks?) and trudged off to what he was sure of was his doom.  
  
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Meanwhile, in the girls lockeroom, the cheerleaders had just finished practice and was throwing on their normal clothes. Then, through the vent, the odor of Gohans aftershve wafted in. They sniffed it and knew a hunk was passing by. They quickly finished getting dressed and charged outside of the lockeroom.  
  
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Gohan wandered by a door and wondered if he should knock and ask directions. He was about to rap his knuckles on the door when it flung open and he was mobbed by the girls!!! Gee, poor Gohan.  
  
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A/N: So how did you like it? review to tell me! it may take a while for me to update, cause like i said, im lazy. Remember the 3 R's! Read, Review, and Retaliate to flamers! Ta! 


	4. A trip to China?

The Chaotic Life of Gohan! Chp 3: Trip to..... China!?!  
  
A/N: I/ve decided to change this fic according to what I heard from one of my reviewers. Thanks Emotionless Shadow for the Idea!  
  
"speaking" *actions* bond/telethapy /Saiya-go/ (author's notes) [thoughts]  
  
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Kenohkihi looked upon Gohan smirking. He was not detected because Bardok invented new brands of scouters the shields ki detection and has a cloaking device.  
  
[So, he is an item with the ladies eh? Well, I know exactly how to make him an item with the men too.] /BWAHAHAHAHAHA!/ cackled Kenohkihi gleefully.  
  
Kayoko looked at his comrad with a look of..... actually, I don't know how to describe the look. /Don't you think that's a bit much?/  
  
/Nah./ interjects Bardok.  
  
/If you think so Bar./ says Kayoko dubiously.  
  
/DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!!!!!!!/ yells Bar, errr... Bardok  
  
Both Kayoko and Kenohkihi merely snickered.  
  
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Bulma called the whole gang in for an announcement. "Guys, I have arranged it so we can have a trip to China! Isn't that great?"  
  
"Woman, we can fly there at any time. Why would we want to go to #&@*(^% China by plane?" retorted Veggie. "AND I DEMAND NOT TO BE CALLED VEGGIE!!!!!!!!!" screamed Veg-Head in rage. "IF I'M CALLED BY ANYTHING BUT VEGETA, I PROMISE TO BLOW THIS PLANET INTO SO MANY PIECES NOT EVEN PORUNGA CAN FIND THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
(Ok, ok, Vegeta. Sheesh.)  
  
"Better."  
  
"We aren't taking a plane. Actually Goku is going to be ressurected and instant transmission us there." says Bulma, glaring at Shor, errr... Vegeta.  
  
"Cool, Now I get to meet daddy!" chirps Goten. "I'm gonna visit daddy, I'm gonna visit daddy, I'm gonna visit daddy, I'm gonna visit daddy...." chants Goten, acting.... chibiish.  
  
"Now now squirt, calm down. Sure dad's coming back, but that is reeeeeally annoying. So stop it." chides Gohan.  
  
So they summoned the dargon. Long story short, they revived Goku and they went to China. Yay.  
  
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/They're here. Start force blast. Trajectory, Nyannichuan./  
  
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Gohan felt a sudden jolt and the next thing he knew he was flung miles from them. He did, however, hear them calling to him. The jungle opened up to many springs and bamboo poles. (How the hell did they get those poles there?) There was a large splash and he blacked out. ##################################################  
  
A/N: How did you like it? as u all know, im lazy so u have to wait. Thanks Emotionless Shadow for giving me the idea for more Ranma 1/2 stuff Now press the pretty review button | | | | | v 


	5. What the hell! Who is this busty female!

The Chaotic Life of Gohan! Chp 4: What the hell!?! Who is this busty female?!?!?!  
  
A/N: Sorry I took so long! ;-; ^___^ I overcame my writers block!!! Yay!!!  
  
"speaking" *actions* bond/telethapy /Saiya-go/ (author's notes) [thoughts]  
  
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() ()  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" *SPLASH*  
  
"Gohan!" cried Goku in alarm. He flew to try and save him from a watery death, but when he got there, Gohan was nowhere in sight.  
  
Goku spotted a plump Chinese guy just sitting there. He decided to ask him where Gohan landed. "Hey, have you seen a spikey haired teenager flying at a fast speed around here?"  
  
"He fall in Nyannichuan, spring of drowned girl. There very tragic story of young girl that drown there 3,000 year ago. Now whoever fall in spring take body of young girl." replied the plump man.  
  
"Aw, that is tragic. *sniff* poor girl...." Goku burst into tears because of the... tragicness......  
  
"Goku! Did you find Gohan?!?!?!" yelled a fast approaching Chi-Chi.  
  
The rest of the Z fighters came on a just plain wierd scene of a crying Goku and a plump Chinese man fishing around in a pool with a long metal pole. Chi-Chi was the first to recover and bonk the weeping saiyjin over the head with... IT!!!! (The-All-Mighty-Frying-Pan-of-DEATH!!!!!!!!!!! (TM)) (DEATH is Chi-Chi's, DOOM is Bulma's, and DESPAIR is Videl's when she gets one, and TERROR is 18's, k?)  
  
"Ow! Chi-Chi what was that for?" said Goku, nursing his head. Chi-Chi glared. "I said, where is Gohan."  
  
"Sirs, Misses, I found him." shouted the chinese man. On his metall pole was a damp female with large breasts and had the same style as Gohans, but instead of black in was a strange lilac color. Wearing the same clothes as Gohan was earlier, her clothes were soaked, unfortanatly her white T-shirt as well. Roshi, was gleeful at this and went to get a closer look, and a feel.  
  
Unfortanatly for him the girl woke up with a groan before he was even halfway there. "Ugh..... Did anyone get the number on that saiyjin space pod?"  
  
Chi-Chi, enraged to see that the overweight guide did not find her 'baby', the stalked up to the soaked teen. "Who are you, and wheres my Gohan!?!?!?!"  
  
"Mom? What happened? Hey, waitasec, what in the hell happened to my voice? And my center of balance is off. Why is that? This place is not going to exist anymore if I don't get some answers! Woah, I have got to stop hanging around Vegeta so much." rambled the girl, who appears to think she is Gohan.  
  
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/That, my freind, was truly cruel. I liked it./ siad Bardock.  
  
/I agree. But you didn't overdue it and let Roshi get to him before he woke up. Nice./ interjects Kayoko.  
  
/MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!/ Kenohkihi laughed maniacly.  
  
/Wait a sec, I think the author is going to end the fic soon. Doesn't that mean....../ says Kayoko.  
  
/CLIFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!/ they all cried out in despair. ____________________________________________________  
  
A/N: Yay! I updated!!!  
  
My Annoying Brother (MAB): Yeah, and it only took you 2 months!!  
  
Shut up, before I take all your muse treats and feed them to Rannchan.  
  
MAB: Oh, I'm so scared.  
  
You should be, last time she was on a sugar high you ended up a tree naked.  
  
MAB: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!  
  
The REAL AB: The Muse treats aren't real.  
  
Shut up before I make your charater an ignorant weakling.  
  
The REAL AB(TRAB): You control it, I don't have any say on what my supposed character does in the fic, so it isn't really my character.  
  
You, on the other hand, still have an obsession with Pikachu, so you shouldn't be one to contradict the character, I remind you, that you named and created one in your little world.  
  
TRAB: Oh yeah, one: You can't imagine what goes on in my head..  
  
Your right, I would have to lower my IQ standerds to the negative centillions to even come close to what goes on in that black hole in your skull.  
  
TRAB: Don't interupt me. and if i had a black hole in my head, i would be sucked in as well as the whole solar system and more. Two, i have a very high IQ. Three, watch this *throws Pikachu plushie up into the cieling, then punted it*.  
  
Pssst, readers, he is gonna rescue it when your all not reading. And let's just end it now, bye! 


End file.
